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[27 Dec 2003|07:38pm] |
There are things the family brushes under the rug.
There are things that never go away and resurface on one day of the year to haunt your memory and renew your resolve.
Like a certain Christmas Eve at the age of 17 when she wanted to look so good for her mother's party. Lucius would be there. She knew they were already arranged to be wed as soon as they were done school, but she had to be the shining star. Always. So she did what she always did. And the toilet was her best friend. Who needed food anyway?
She fasted for a week. And by fasted that meant not eat. And if she did eat, she couldn't deal with having something in her stomach and made sure it was out as soon as possible. But she was never quite thin enough. There was something here and there she wanted to work on. her family knew by her beginning to exercise that she was getting ready.. But they didn't know how she'd been like that at school as well. That she was rarely at meals and she picked at her food. They didn't bring up how thin she looked, terrible in fact.. But she was so proud of herself when she fit into that dress at the Christmas party. She saw them all staring at her. She knew she was the star.
And then she fainted. She passed out and woke up in the hospital. Horrid sanitized hospital that smelled constantly of vile potions and balms and the nasty plastic wrapped packages they kept bandages in. And they told her how she was beautiful and she didn't need to starve herself or obsessively work out.. And they would help her with her problem.
And twenty years later she still refuses to admit that its a problem.. but she’s kept her new years resolution from that day.
Never go back to that disgusting old hospital again.
+Narcissa+
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1 admire my beauty |o|o| drool over me
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[21 Dec 2003|02:23am] |
Predestination..
Well, yes. Isn't it obvious?
I was born to pure blood. That counts immensely. Pure blood equals greatness. I was born to be the epitome of manners. I was born as the epitome of beauty. My role was set, to marry a powerful man and have powerful children. At the same time I was to be well versed in all things Dark like my sisters and cousins, my darling father and mother. Of course some were more recognized for their skills in the Arts, I didn't really mind. It was I who married Lucius Malfoy. It was I who became the queen of a legendary household. I was granted the prestige of taking on the name of a house as noble as my own. I made a son, an heir, with enough brains and good looks to follow in his father's footsteps and make him proud.
If anything about my role, that counts for something. My son. Every parent's greatest accomplishment should be the children they create and that children's achievements.
As it comes down to it, predestination is not about liking what you are given. It's making the best of what you have received. Opinions matter little in the great scheme of things. You play the cards you are dealt and look out for what has meaning to you. You never expose your back to an enemy and you always try for more.
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14 admire my beauty |o|o| drool over me
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[16 Dec 2003|03:00pm] |
Already I've bonded with my dear sister, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tricky_bella and found a fabulous new friend in patsy_stone.
I think I may need to have a party soon to accomodate all the good 'vibes' floating around.
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drool over me
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